The Joy of Internetical Joined-Upness

I sincerely hope that the linguistic purists and dictionary aficionados among you will excuse my quirky title. It’s a writer’s privilege, darling, to play fast and loose with vocabulary when the mood strikes, while spending most of the time gleefully spotting editorial howlers in everyone else’s creations. And if it isn’t it jolly well should be.

I was about to type that I’m fully aware that there’s no such word as “Internetical” but decided to Google it first. Lo and behold, there’s at least one definition to be found at, and unfortunately it’s quite different to mine. Whereas I have chosen (or so I thought) to jauntily combine the concepts of “Internet” and “technical” to create a clever yet entertaining word that draws the reader’s attention, they apparently deem it to signify mathematical equations birthed purely from conversations on the web, or some such nonsense. (I am, of course, compelled to throw in that not-so-veiled insult at the end to infer that my definition and intent for the word is at least as valid as theirs, if not more so. For if that were not to be the case then my use of it wouldn’t be rather clever author’s license, but rather a demonstration of author’s ignorance – rather like a boss of mine who, in 1984, insisted that the word “assimilate” was the correct one when what he really meant was “simulate”. He was wrong then and he’s wrong now.)

On the other hand, I’m pleased to report no dictionary definitions for “Joined-Upness”, but it would probably be difficult to come up with one that didn’t mean what I’m assuming you all take it to mean anyway – that is, having the characteristic of being joined up.

Incidentally, there is actually a point to the title, and I promise it’s coming right up. May I thank you for your patience in following the meandering river that is this piece as far as this particular bend.

Welcome, then, to my tale of Problematical Calendar Synchronisation.

Every so often my iPod would refuse to synchronise its calendar data with that held by Microsoft Outlook on the desktop PC. I would spend hours trying suggestion after suggestion to no avail until it would one day miraculously resume without explanation and as if nothing had happened. In the meantime I was having to manually check that computer and hand-held told the same story so that my data was protected and so that my better half could see my calendar entries and add her own so that I could see them.

When it all started to go horribly wrong for the third time in two years I set off down the well-worn path of try this, try that, reset the other, delete, switch off, log out, log in, increase, decrease, reinitialise, and so on ad nauseam. Several days of anything but automatic and seamless updating began to take its toll. I even resorted to praying for a solution.

Friends, my prayer was answered.

My Apple device still refuses to play nicely with the Microsoft software when it comes to sharing dates, but I am nonetheless happy. For I have found a new calendar friend to play nicely with, and it works, as they say, a treat. It’s a calendar that lives not on my home computer but “out there” – on the Internet. Gasps of amazement. (Except from those of you who’ve been doing this for ages and wonder what the fuss is about and are probably shaking your heads in disbelief at my delight.)

My Internet provider (whom I shall not name lest you track me down, hack my account and steal all my calendar appointments) is kind enough to give me not only an email address but also a calendar, and one which, by the magic of Internetical Joined-Upness, can swap appointments with my little toy. What’s more, my favourite lady can see said calendar from her laptop far more easily and so we can share and update our appointments at home or work. Let us give thanks.

Oh, we do have a backup system as well. It costs £2.99 each December, it’s made of paper and it hangs on the kitchen wall. What a great idea.



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